Last night I was a guest speaker at a bariatric support group. Before introducing me, the group facilitator asked everyone to introduce themselves and to share a non-food related goal or meaning of success. As we went around the room most participants said that it was very difficult to come up with a non-food related anything. They felt everything in their lives seemed to revolve around food or dieting or weight control in general. Some sort of apologized for the answer they were coming up with because they believed that all of their successes had to do with food in one way or another. Boy, could I relate! One woman shared her idea of success will be to enjoy her vacations more by being able to walk more. Another said  that she remembered me discussing eating only what you love and only when you’re hungry while leading a group last year and how it helped her become a more intuitive eater which in turn allowed her to see her successes differently.  It became apparent that we all shared one huge thing. Most everything in our lives had always revolved around food. How much we ate. What we ate. Why we ate. Were we dieting? Bingeing? Depriving? Didn’t almost everything that we ever equated with goals and/or success have to do with food? And didn’t we all at one time or another feel that the number on the scale or how well we were adhering to our diet/food plan was how we defined ourselves and how we measured our success or determined if we had reached our goals?

Earlier in the day I was thinking…what would I speak about with this group. Sometimes I have to ponder and dig deep for an interesting story, thought, insight or idea.. Most of the time a topic comes to me and I rush to my computer and just “let it pour out” onto a Word Document and cannot type fast enough. I wasn’t quite sure where my presentation wold go this time. The leader of this group who is a business colleague and friend of mine simply asked that I share “my story” with the group. I wasn’t quite sure what else to share after that. When the group began I still didn’t know what I was going to share. But…after the introduction she made requesting everyone thing of a non-food related goal or success, I began to laugh silently. I got my topic!

When it came time for me to speak..I found a chair and sat. I crossed my legs. Yes, I crossed my legs comfortably. That was my lifetime goal and meaning of success! I wanted to be able to cross my legs comfortably! Now I can. I suppose my goal was food related also but it made me think. For the rest of the evening I spoke and we all shared about becoming Intuitive Eaters. We talked about how we could be free of thinking about food being the enemy and how to learn to love and be comfortable with our eating experiences. We spoke about how, when eating what we love and eating only when we are hungry and stopping when we are no longer hungry allows us to think of our goals and successes in a different light. Yes, many achievements will be food related in some way but we don’t want to define ourselves as “a number on the scale”. We are not good or bad, successful or not according to what or how we eat. Out ideas of success become a more true assessment of who we are, who we’ve touched, helped or inspired and how we’ve impacted others when we are eating intuitively. When we trust our body and listen to its cues about eating, we naturally begin to feel more “successful” at the one thing we thought we could never do “correctly”. Each day that passes builds on the other and before we k now it we really can define success in a non-food related way. And does that feel good!!!

How do you define success?

…the motivator lady
lori ellen
eating behaviorist
motivation.inspiration.strategies.support

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